This guy probably doesn't feel sorry for me.
While I realize that there are worse things in the world than not being able to eat dairy products, like say elephantitis, or a third (or fourth) nipple, or having a few dozen nails shot though your head, it is sincerely frustrating to have to turn down every treat that comes your way because someone, a long time ago, thought, “HEY, you know that white stuff that comes out of a cow? Let’s PUT THAT CRAP IN EVERYTHING!”
And then the rest of the world was like, “Man, could those French get any more suave?”
I’m upstairs in my room right now, having run up here a half hour ago when I wasn’t sure if I was going to throw up or have a panic attack, or both. Now you could say that this is merely the karmic punishment of a food and fitness blogger who JUST YESTERDAY posted about how she was going to buckle down and get in shape and all that*, having had a decaf soy mocha and two chocolate chip cookies (the cookies were FREE, YO!) for breakfast. You could maybe argue that I sort of had this coming, but no, I’d like to blame it on the cows.
I just called the cafe where we got our treats, and yeah, the cookies are chock-full of butter.
LE SIGH.