I haven’t written in days, I’ve been too busy coping with the snow that fell on Seattle in a great white blanket of agony. Oh right, you like the snow? Yeah I know, a lot of people do. Maybe agony is too strong a word, but unfortunately for me, snow is an anxiety trigger. I’m not going to try and explain it, because anxiety disorders by their nature tend to be largely irrational, and I get frustrated trying to rationalize something I can’t. It’s just frozen water, I get that. It’s also the substance that makes it hard to get around, and that’s the triggering part. I can’t escape! I’m trapped! When it snows in Seattle, I take a lot of hot baths, spend a lot of time curling up with my Kindle, and avoid looking out the window until Greg tells me it’s passed.
This past week has actually gone pretty well, and I can say that now (knock on wood) because it appears to be over; rain is falling now, that glorious unfrozen water, and the snow is (HURRAH!) melting. Ollie and I took a short walk up and down the block, noting that there are more cars everywhere (everyone drove home after being away?), and the street is slushy but workable. A big sigh of relief came over me.
I’ve gotten a few friendly notes from people asking if I’ve been running – no, I haven’t. Running also triggers panic attacks, and I’m already fighting off the anxiety from the snow. I’ve had three attacks this week, one each night I went to bed and it was still frozen out. On top of that, a lot of free-floating anxiety. I wish I could control this. I would if I could. But since I can’t, I do what I can to avoid triggering it, which has meant that I didn’t exercise this week.
Now that it’s melting, however, I’m ready to get back on the treadmill. I’ll do that tonight and let you know what happens.
Snowpocolypse appears to be melting
I haven’t written in days, I’ve been too busy coping with the snow that fell on Seattle in a great white blanket of agony. Oh right, you like the snow? Yeah I know, a lot of people do. Maybe agony is too strong a word, but unfortunately for me, snow is an anxiety trigger. I’m not going to try and explain it, because anxiety disorders by their nature tend to be largely irrational, and I get frustrated trying to rationalize something I can’t. It’s just frozen water, I get that. It’s also the substance that makes it hard to get around, and that’s the triggering part. I can’t escape! I’m trapped! When it snows in Seattle, I take a lot of hot baths, spend a lot of time curling up with my Kindle, and avoid looking out the window until Greg tells me it’s passed.
This past week has actually gone pretty well, and I can say that now (knock on wood) because it appears to be over; rain is falling now, that glorious unfrozen water, and the snow is (HURRAH!) melting. Ollie and I took a short walk up and down the block, noting that there are more cars everywhere (everyone drove home after being away?), and the street is slushy but workable. A big sigh of relief came over me.
I’ve gotten a few friendly notes from people asking if I’ve been running – no, I haven’t. Running also triggers panic attacks, and I’m already fighting off the anxiety from the snow. I’ve had three attacks this week, one each night I went to bed and it was still frozen out. On top of that, a lot of free-floating anxiety. I wish I could control this. I would if I could. But since I can’t, I do what I can to avoid triggering it, which has meant that I didn’t exercise this week.
Now that it’s melting, however, I’m ready to get back on the treadmill. I’ll do that tonight and let you know what happens.