I haven’t posted in the past week because I’ve been busy freaking the heck out. About a month ago, I went to the ER with pelvic pain so bad I was sure I’d ruptured a bowel, or been fed cheese in my sleep, or maybe implanted with a gut-bursting alien. An ultrasound revealed that I had some cysts on my right ovary, two to be exact. They had burst, thus the gripping pain.
My doctor wanted to see what happened in a month, whether they would go away or stick around. They’ve stuck, and they’re not just cysts, they’re actually endometriomas, which I’m to understand will not go away and will likely only grow. It’s been suggested I have surgery, both to remove the right ovary and the pirate cysts holding it hostage, and to allow my doctor to take a look around and see whether the endometriosis has progressed very far.
The first thing I did when I got this diagnosis was to drink so much vegetable juice I thought I was going to turn orange. Well that’s not entirely true; the first thing I did was sob, while walking out to the car. In the back of my mind I was thinking of all the women that had been to this specialist of mine who had gotten much worse news. I was remembering my friend, a survivor of cervical cancer, and wondering what it must have been like for her to walk off the elevator after getting her diagnosis, moving toward the doors out into the rainy parking lot, everything the same, yet everything different.
It’s just a freaking ovary, I kept telling myself. And it is. I’m done having kiddos, so fertility isn’t an issue. It could be so much worse. And yet it’s shaken me up a great deal, to know that I have to go into surgery at some point in the coming weeks, to know I’ll have only half the hormone production I had before, although I’m told that one ovary can take care of my whole body just fine.
So I started drinking juice. Twice a day for the last few days, I’ve stood at my counter pumping romaine, lemons, apples, ginger, celery, carrots, and broccoli through my Breville like my life depended on it. I’ve avoided sugar, and even wheat which, according to some web pages, isn’t good for endometriosis sufferers. I have this crazy hope that I’ll somehow get cured, that I’ll go back to the doctor for my surgery and they’ll do a preliminary ultrasound and find the endometriomas gone (I’d even accept “shrunk considerably”). The likely reality, however, is that a couple weeks of raw food isn’t going to save me. I’m going to have to go through with this.
Wish me luck! If you have any advice or comments, feel free to post them here or email me at hollie@hollie.us. I’m happy to read everything.
{ 8 comments… read them below or add one }
Even if it doesn’t affect the endometriomas, drinking all that good juice and avoiding unhealthy foods can only help your body recover from the surgery, so it’s a good thing to do regardless! Still thinking of you and sending good vibes over here.
Hey girl…*hugs*, first of all.
Second of all, you’re going to be just fine. I say this will all of the certainty in the world. I know it’s a big deal and that it’s very scary. But, you were right when you said that it could be worse. You’re doing the right things…freaking out appropriately, getting healthy before surgery, and NOT being in denial completely (everyone has the hopeful thoughts that you’re having, that’s not what I mean).
The only thing I would caution you about is that certain vitamins can thin your blood and are not recommended prior to surgery. You should talk to your doctor/surgeon about this so that you can avoid putting foods into your shakes that contain high levels of those vitamins.
You are loved, by your friends and family as well as the earth, the sky, the trees and Mother Karma…you will be fine, my dear. xo
*hugs*
surgery will always be scary and you have every right to be upset but know that in the end it’ll be ok. sending positive vibes your way.
Hollie, I am not sure if this will make you feel better or not, but I have only one working ovary and I had my little Izzy just fine. I know you say you are done having babies, but it just helps to know you can have them..if you wanted to. :) much love and hugs coming your way through the computer screen.
Bekki
I’m sorry, Hollie. Is the pain bad? I imagine the fear is far worse.
You will be fine, whatever the outcome, you are tougher than you think, and you will be fine. Senseless and totally random crap like this happens, it could happen to any woman. I can imagine how scared and out of control you must be feeling, but you have a lot of support and love, also from people who have also had senseless and totally random crap happen to them. Juice, raw, cooked, meat, notmeat, cookies, kale, eggs, whatever…sometimes you just need to do what you need to in order to wrest some control over the situation. The juice may not be a cure, but it does sound smart and comforting. Just let your doctor know about any big changes.
I confess some apple-carrot-ginger juice sounds really good right about now, too.
*big hug*
I’ve been seriously toying with the idea of getting a juicer just like yours. I found I really miss it. Well, what I miss was the super awesome way I felt when I’d have some fresh juice once a day.
Hollie,
Fall 2006. Complicated cyst on one ovary. Gyn says it needs to come out, but she’ll save the rest of the stuff. Sign consent form allowing everything to come out just in case cancer is found.
Wake up sans any female parts. Every organ was covered in endometrosis.
Pelvic pain–gone.
Fibromyalgia–six weeks later. Triggered by the crazy “regulate hormone” dance.
But if I had it to do over again….well, I’ve heard stories of endometriosis going into your spine and paralyzing you. Not sure if they are apocryphal or not, but I do know that if you don’t remove the uterus, more endo will grow. It’s like weeds, to be all poetic and all.
Just be very clear if you want to keep your other organs or not, even if they are covered in endo and your uterus is 100% guaranteed to produce more.
Still glad all the organs are out. You can always getcha hormones via patch. Or even implanted pellets. And a friend who was an ob gyn nurse (admittedly biased) calls ovaries “little cancer factories.”
Your call. You don’t have the fibro gene I’m sure. I just drew the bad card there. But I feel so much better without that dreadful endometriosis.
And I was a vegan for many, many years prior to getting it, I might add. So eating healthy doesn’t stop the old genetic predispositions. I actually HAD to eat red meat afterwards as my iron count was in the anemia range and I could not stand the awful iron pills (think Linda Blair). It was..strange.
Now I eat a humanely slaughtered (I hope) steak once in awhile and just chalk it up to my body having the old primal hunter-gatherer needs.
I feel for you and I just have PMDD :( But I guess the cramps are nothing compared to what you are going through.
I was just thinking about you and popped over here to see what was going on. Sending prayers and good vibes your way.