The last week went very well, even though I wasn’t posting about it:

• I tracked my food on several days, and got a good picture of what eating less looks like (and eating more, heh).
• I upped my protein levels, and I greatly lowered my fat and sugar, although I’m sure I’m still in excess of ideal.
• I bought a food steamer (a $20 gadget that lets you steam veggies and meats on a timer – we used to have one and loved it, but it was lost in a move).
• I did two strength workouts with weights, at home.
• I began working on a cognitive behavioral approach to my anxiety problems, with the help of a great Seattle therapist who specializes in anxiety.

I notice that I’m operating from the Department of Redundancy Department. For instance, let’s say on Monday I eat green beans. First I track green beans on the food log on my iPhone, and then I put it on the calendar (okay, I’m supposed to, but I haven’t been updating the calendar because it only got fixed two days ago), and then I write about it all in both the summary and the Progress page.

The same thing happens with exercise: I track it in that same iPhone app, but there’s also another iPhone app JUST for workouts, and then it’s supposed to go on the calendar, and then in the summary and on the Progress page….etc.

It’s too much. I’m not sure how I’ll adjust things, but I do notice how hard it is to build new habits when you feel like you have to stop your whole life just to write everything down in eight different places.

THE EVER UN-EXCITING WEIGHT LOSS

Me on the Argo with Grandpa, circa 1983

I lost half a pound! I know, right? Half a pound. Like maybe I pooped really well this week? It’s funny to me that I started all this to “get in shape and lose weight”, and yet really all I care about are habits forming. I really don’t care whether I lose weight or not right now. I’m sure eventually I will, it’s still important to me that I eventually shed some poundage, but my perspective has really changed.

I’m able to see how I both gained weight and lost fitness not by Ben & Jerry’s alone (although HELLO THEY HELPED), but by an evolution of slooooooowly changing habits in my daily life and my weekly routines. I’m sure those habits and routines were changing over the course of months before the pounds first started arriving and lodging themselves firmly around my vital organs.

So it doesn’t seem that strange that it should take months for me to slooooooowly shift habits around before I notice any change in weight. When I was a kid, my Grandpa used to take me out on the Columbia river all the time, on his boat (which he designed himself, because Grandpa was an engineer in the Navy, and just awesome like that). I remember when he’d turn the ship, how I’d sit there with my book, my legs hanging off the stern, watching the scenery sliding slowly around. You didn’t get dizzy navigating an eight and a half ton steel cruiser.

Now thankfully I myself do not weigh eight and a half tons, because finding jeans would be even more hellish than it is now. But my habits, the weight of my routines, we could safely consider that a metaphorical few tons. Moving all those around is like turning the Argo.

This is probably the most boring blog on weight loss and fitness ever, and I’m okay with that. Because you know what? I’m going to get there. Even if it does take me six months to eat vegetables regularly. And once I DO get there, I won’t have to keep starting over and over and over again. And that’s worth six months or even a year of starting over every day.