After my Kale Realization of 2009, it was time to face reality: I want to lose weight, and I’ve wanted to lose weight for the last year, and I haven’t gotten very far. In fact, I’m getting larger (ironically all thanks to my love of a vegetable). So what’s a girl to do? I sent email to a fried who has lost a lot of weight, and asked for her advice.
Ivana had some advice, which I share here with her permission:
My biggest question for you is: what specifically *has* helped? Although we have similar struggles, we are quite different, so I’m not sure I’m the right one to give advice that may help you.
That said, I am a woman of strong opinions, and you asked, so I’ll remark on the one thing that I’ve seen is most apparent with your particular struggle: enthusiasm subsequent and lack of moderation. The two go hand in hand, sadly. One of the best aspects of your personality, infectious enthusiasm, tends to lead toward momentary extremism and rapid burnout. We all need enthusiasm and a willingness to try new things in order to get started on making a difference, but ultimately it is the long term that really matters. Mike said to me a while ago: “you overestimate what you can do in a day, and underestimate what you can do in a year.” Maybe you can start by looking for and focusing on moderation? Can you eat halfway good food?
Ultimately, you need to find the right equilibrium between eating and moving. This may take years, and in the end will look far more moderate than anything you can imagine now. While the craving is there right now to buckle down and do something different, you might be better served by quieting your mind and reflecting on your urges to go extreme.
If you’ve been reading this blog for the last year, or if, like Greg, you’ve been living with me for the last fifteen years, you’ll be smiling right now. Because Ivana, while admitting right at the start that she’s not sure she is the right person to give me advice, just happened to say exactly what was true, and exactly what I needed to hear.
People who lose weight and keep it off find something that works, and they keep doing that. Ivana asked, “What specifically has helped?” The answer to that is counting calories, and exercising almost every day. I lost 25 pounds that way – and then gained them back when I stopped paying attention to food and got “too busy” to exercise. I do know what works. I just need to keep doing it, moderately, over the long term.
This is the hardest part to write! RIGHT HERE! This is HURTING MY HANDS! Okay, ready? Here we go. I promise my readers that:
1.) For the next six months I will try to be moderate in all things food and exercise related.
2.) I will not start any extreme diet or exercise programs. I will not convert to raw foodism overnight (again). I will not convert to veganism overnight (for the tenth time). I will not cut out any major food groups (for the millionth time) or start exercising and then swear that I will keep exercising every day (again).
3.) I will write about what happens.
One could point out that my trying to go moderate OVERNIGHT is, itself, an extreme sort of plan. And then one might get slugged moderately between the eyes.
“Okay!” I hear you saying. “GREAT MODERATOR! What are your first moderate goals?”
I’m so glad you asked! They are:
1.) Exercise three times this week, for at least 15 minutes.
2.) Eat three veggies this week. You know, the kind NOT covered in tahini.
3.) Write three posts about how this is all going (not including this one).
That’s it for this week. Three exercise sessions, three vegetables, and three posts. The posts are there to keep me accountable. I’m actually making a calendar for this, in case you’re curious. It’s the best way for me to keep track of my progress. I’ll update it every week, as well as update the blog.
ALREADY THIS IS HARD. I am just itching to go all-raw again, or make my goal to exercise every day for 45 minutes, or something else that will just be a LINE drawn in the SAND. With CAPITAL LETTERS. Know what I mean? It’s so hard to just take it easy!
This will be interesting.
I’m curious to know which are the lucky veggies this week!
(The graphic, by the way, is PERFECT. You come up with the best illustrations for your postings.)
Thanks. :)
At least one lucky veggie will be kale: in a SMOOTHIE.
YAY! I’m really excited that you’ve finally gotten to this point, Hollie!! The “everything in moderation” lifestyle strategy is how I have maintained my 35 pound weight loss for over 15 years now, and it’s the strategy that is actually supported by all the legitimate research on successful weight loss/control, too. It’s not just me!
Extreme diets never work — they literally NEVER HAVE WORKED! Not in the long term. Not for anybody! What works is lifestyle changes — small ones — that you can maintain and build on gradually. Small steps are exactly the way to go! Your goals are perfect! Perfect! And yes, yes, it takes longer to lose weight this way, definitely. It’s not going to be five pounds the first week. It might not even be five pounds the first month. Or the first two months! But the thing is, if you do it right, you’ll only have to lose that weight ONCE, instead of losing it and regaining it over and over forever. Slow it way down, way, way down! And you’ll see, I swear.
THIS is the magic bullet, Hollie. THIS. I’m really, like, almost RIDICULOUSLY proud of you right now!! I can’t wait to read your three posts a week and hear how you are doing and feeling. You go, my beautiful sistah. You kick some serious moderation ass.
Sounds like a great plan! I’m looking forward to reading more about it later this week. And I can SO relate to the overestimating/underestimating quote!
It seems your plan looks a little complicated for me. But in case you’ve done it before, you probably can do it again. Good luck. Don’t forget to build some muscles so you can burn calories even if you aren’t doing anything. Thats a funny pic right there.
Meg – I wondered what you’d say about this! :) I hope you’re right, I hope I can lose and really be done with it instead of regaining. I always promised myself I’d never be a yo-yo dieter, because it can be so hard on your heart (and the rest of you). I was so shocked to gain the weight back once I’d lost it. I don’t want to do that again.
Natasha – Thanks! I’m curious what I’ll be writing about this week. It feels hard already!
If you’re looking for any reading material to support moderation and weight-loss maintenance, I recommend Anne Fletcher’s Thin for Life, in which a dietician studies people who have kept at least 20 pounds off for at least 3 years. Not a whiff of extreme in it, just suggestions on general principles and tips that other people found useful.
You know, its always the stupid things that help with the exercise:
park far away, take the stairs, take your kid to the playground and then … play with them, don’t sit. take the bus, instead of your car. etc. etc.
Generally, not shying away from exercise means you’re a lot more active, and it adds up. I also suspect that it helps get to the point where you do plain old exercise – going to a walk to exercise may be daunting, unless you realize that you walk a few blocks to the bus as part of your routine, so getting around the block isn’t that big a deal.
Good luck.
You have touched on such an important aspect of successful weight loss – keeping things simple. How many times in my early years of dieting that I would decide to lose weight then embark on some crazy diet or exercise program, or both, that were way too complicated for me and my lifestyle. The diet would ultimately fail and I would be left feeling like I was the failure. It was only in the past few years that I have learned about how a successful diet will be one that fits my lifestyle and my personal tastes. If you want to lose weight, start with baby steps and change only a few things at a time. It’s amazing how even the simplest changes can be a challenge, such as drinking more water, eating 5-6 small meals a day and getting daily exercise. Focus on the basics and if you end up mastering them maybe then start thinking about making other changes, such as going all-raw, you may want to do. Thanks for this great post!
Holly – The funny thing is that I used to have that book! About a decade ago. And I remember I really liked it, and then I lost it in a move. That’s actually been in the back of my mind for ages, to see if I can find that book again. You just gave me the push I needed to go look for it.