This is me this morning after my half hour on the stationary bike. I’m exhausted. I’m so out of shape it’s surprising I can get up the stairs to bed.
Mmmmm, bed. The question at this point isn’t WILL I take a nap, it’s WHERE WILL I? The kids are in daycare today, which means I should get some things done – although as any mother will tell you, sleeping is doing. It might be the ultimate example of productivity as a parent.
The diet continues to go well. Having wheat back in makes things a million times easier, although I’m astounded at how much I want to eat it. I’m already wondering how I went 9 days without it – was I given some sort of super power I just don’t remember?
I threw my scale into the back of my closet last night. I’d gone out for breakfast with Greg, and we were talking about how exercise is the one thing that has made me feel great in the past, but that I have a lot of trouble sticking to. I began realizing over the course of the conversation that the way it’s set up in my brain is that exercise will lead me to weight loss.
Exercise —> weight loss.
Easy enough, right? Most people seem to think this way. Okay, most overweight women seem to think this way.
Except that I don’t think that’s motivation enough for me. Certainly I want to lose weight, if for nothing else than to get my cycles back on track. But a number just isn’t a motivator.
Instead, I’m reading a book called Spark: The Revolutionary New Science of Exercise and the Brain
So while we were sitting at breakfast, mulling all this over, I said suddenly, and pardon my language but I promise there were no kids present: “Fuck the scale! Fuck the numbers!”
“That’s right!”, Greg said. “It’s never done you any good. Throw the damn thing away, or stick it somewhere you won’t find it.”
And I did. I stuck it in my closet, wedged it between a dresser and the wall. It felt like giving up a crutch. How will I know if I’m doing well? How will I know if I’m getting thinner?
Isn’t it funny how different those two questions are?
I’ll know I’m “doing well” if:
- I’m having less anxiety, better anxiety recovery, and fewer attacks.
- I do more in my life independently – driving, going out, going farther, being away from home.
- I have more energy to chase after the kids, to go for walks, to live.
- I sleep better and don’t feel so worn out all the time.
- I get stronger, which is easy to notice – I buff out nicely.
I’ll know if I’m “getting thinner” if:
- I need to buy new clothes.
There. That doesn’t seem too hard, does it? And I can attest to the fact that today it felt good to get up and not weigh myself. Maybe tomorrow I’ll feel differently. I guess we’ll see.
{ 3 comments… read them below or add one }
YES. Getting rid of the scale is a SMART thing (see? exercise is making you smarter!) to do.
If you REALLY want to weigh yourself regularly, do it once a month, say, right after your period ends. That way you can track long-term changes, and not fret about daily ups and downs.
I haven’t been losing weight, but my pants are looser. I’ve been building muscle (and when I build muscle, boy, it’s heavy muscle). (I get weighed at the doc’s, and I’ve been going there an awful lot lately for meds-adjusting) (how many parenthetical statements can I include in this comment?)
Oh, boy, I could add a lot more to your “I’ll know I’m doing well if” list:
-exercise gets easier
-exercise becomes enjoyable
-I look forward to exercise
I didn’t have a decent scale when I was in “losing mode”, and so I only got officially weighed once a week at weight watchers. When I got to goal I bought a modern scale. Now in maintenance mode, I weigh myself every morning, but rather than noting the number (so easy to obsess over numbers), I just graph it. After several weeks, I connect the dots and view it at arm’s length. It is cool to see weekly and monthly patterns, but it is mostly to track long term changes, smoothing out anomalies.
YES!
I’ve not owned a pair of scales for years and years. I do get weighed once a month at my gym though but I don’t pay it any heed. We all know the factors that can make the scales go up – water, time of the month, muscle weighs more than fat etc etc so just learn to trust yourself. You’ll know because your body will tell you how great you feel.
You look really well in your photo Hollie.